9 Great Gifts for True Wine Geeks

When people say “wine geek,” usually they mean it metaphorically. But sometimes the parallels between the pimply, C++ quoting nerd and the red-nosed, Frenchified wine snob are all too real. Here are nine gifts that will satisfy that special person on your list whose love of wine has taken on a certain cultish, slightly weird connotation.

Periodic Table of Wine
Poster-sized Chart of Grape Varieties ($35.00)
True wine geeks can look at this poster, which can decorate perfectly her kitchen or wine cellar, and say, “Did you know that Zinfandel is really crljenak kastelanski, an obscure Croatian grape traced by Dr. Carole Meredith, a professor and geneticist at the University of California at Davis?

PDA Cellar Database
“WineMaster” for Palm OS, from Poohbah Industries ($19.95)
In the case of the really hopeless collector, this gift will allow him to answer anywhere the question: “how many bottles of 2000 Bordeaux do you have in your cellar?” The engineer behind this handy app has kindly offered Wine Girl’s readers a 20% discount (type CPN1528992426 for the coupon on the Personal Information page during checkout at the Poohbah web store. This coupon expires December 31). Plus you can get a great-loooking gift certificate by emailing him at grand@poohbah.com.

Must-Have Reference Book
The Oxford Companion to Wine, ed Jancis Robinson ($65)
Because Master of Wine Jancis Robinson has updated her Oxford Companion to reflect all the modern, hot button issues in wine (new entries include globalization and Okanagan), even if your fanatical friend already has the last edition, she’s need this one, too.

Pervy Wine Pump
Vino Vac Wine Saver
The newly redesigned, if now slightly phallic, Vino Vac is highly recommended because (a) it really works. Personally, if I have wine leftovers (hey, it happens more often than you might think), I use this thing to pump excess air out of the bottle and then I stick it in the fridge. If it’s a red wine, I just take it out about an hour before I’m ready to drink it. Fresh as can be! And (b), even if your recipient already has the pump, if my experience is any evidence, he’ll need more of the stoppers.

Parker on your Cellie
Robert Parker Mobile($4.95 a month)
Since his early days on Compuserve, renown wine critic Robert Parker has always shown a geeky side, and internet-savvy Parkerites have long been subscribers to eRobertParker over the print (gasp!) “Wine Advocate.” Now, if they have a Java-enabled cell phone, they can access eRobertParker’s thousands of tasting notes and scores at the wine store, a restaurant, wherever. It’s like being able to dial WINE-911 and get Bob himself! Or, Parker makes it really easy to give a three-month trial gift subscription to eRobertParker.com ($29).

Girls Are Geeks Too
Red, White, and Drunk All Over, by Natalie MacLean ($23.95)
Wine Girl would be amiss if she didn’t recommend this book by the woman behind the award-winning Nat Decants. The New York Times wine critic Eric Asimov says the book has a “distinctly female” perspective: “On a glassware producer’s discovery that ‘content commands shape,’ she notes, ‘But anyone who has ever bought a bra already knows that.’”

Iceless Wine Chiller
Ice Made Analog by this High-Design Cooler ($17.95)
Give one of these iceless coolers and your recipient will never look back at ice. All the dripping, splashing, melting mess of the traditional champagne bucket will, in her mind, be consigned to the romantic past of a Dorothy Parker gathering at the Algonquin. She’s chilling in style now.

Adult Themed Wine-Glass Charms
Especially the “Rich Bitch” Set ($14.99)
Normally I’m against wine-glass charms. I think they’re a little tacky, but the real problem is that I always forget to break them out and use them. When I do manage to remember, if I drink too much I not only forget which glass is mine, but which charm was mine. Was I the green bead, or the little corkscrew? These Rich Bitch charms, though, might stick. You can choose from a credit card, a convertible, Adam and Eve in an embrace, a high heel, a shopping bag, or a girl in a champagne glass. I also liked their R-rated set, which includes a little “Do Not Disturb” sign.

Chocolate-Wine Pairing Set
San Francisco Chocolate Company’s Wine Lover’s Chocolates — Six Tins
What’s a true nerd without an acne problem? This box of chocolates, each one with wine-pairing suggestions, is guaranteed to be the break-out gift of the season.

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